we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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