He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
