We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
