I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
North Korea, Best Korea!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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