Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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