think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
