last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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