Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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