And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
