You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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