She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
