Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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