Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
