Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
