Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
