No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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