Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
