this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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