Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
