i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
