ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize