you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
