I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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