yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
