At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
