Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
bring money and cleavage
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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