I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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