Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
