he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
