if i died would you start the facebook group?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
