Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you would pick up someone in the library
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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