if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
