NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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