can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Send help, water and tortillas.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
