you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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