so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
