I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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