I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
