addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
