you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
