how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
