Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
