Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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