I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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