My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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