wake up i wanna do it froggy style
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
