The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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