I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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