Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
