I just made out with a guy for $7.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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