Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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