Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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