I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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