Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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