Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Its about making memories worth repressing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
