Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
