p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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