no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
