giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
